The Power, The Convenience, and The Pitfalls of Texting

The Power, The Convenience, and The Pitfalls of Texting..............Wow!  All that over a bunch of words, letters, and characters?  Well I believe all three are true.

Texting is fast becoming the number one form of communication for people under the age of 40, and the "older generation" (myself included) are falling in line.  According to the Pew Internet Research Center 73% of adult cell phone owners use the function at least occasionally.

I personally have been using texting for a number of years, in the beginning (and to some extent now) it was not my preference but an action born of necessity.  My eldest child was driving a truck in the oilfield and the area he was working in had "spotty at best" cell service.  We would try to talk on the phone and one phone call would turn into 5 or 6 calls with him trying to find another hill to get service from.  We often resorted to texting just to get an uninterrupted message across and save both of us a lot of frustration!  Spotty service combined with his working strange/odd hours made this our preferred means of communication.

I viewed this means of communication on two levels............If his phone was in his hand and he wasn't busy - we had a "conversation"; if he was busy or sleeping I "left him a note" that he could answer when he could.

Personally I view all texting in that fashion today.  Whether I am asking a question, reminding someone, sharing something that happened, or just want to say hi..............in my mind I am passing a note to be answered when the person is able to read it.

If they are able at the time they receive the text, we can have a conversation.  Otherwise I just wait.

What about when they DON'T answer?  Well I deal with that also, sometimes better than others..........my reaction depends on WHO I am texting, lol, and to some extent WHAT and WHEN I am texting.

If I text my daughter during the day and she doesn't answer I figure that she is working...........if I don't get an answer in 24 hours then I am not happy because I know, that as a norm, she lives with that phone in her hand and that she is just ignoring what I am saying.  My eldest son answers texts in his own sweet time, no matter WHO they are from while my youngest son will answer within minutes no matter what the question or message is!

Pitfalls in texting occur often.  We all shudder at the horror stories of "auto-correct" that have us stuttering and stammering after we hit SEND and realize what we have just typed.  Another pitfall is delay, my daughter has been bailed out more than once when we have compared phone screens to see either a "lack" of a message OR "times" - Honest to Pete - she sent me a message one time that took SIX hours to reach my phone and she was less than a mile away when she sent it!

Response or the lack of response is a major pitfall.........but do you respond to everything?  Sorry I don't have the answer for that, it is a judgement call on the part of part of the receiver.  Do I think you need to respond to every LOL or Smiley face?  Probably not, that puts you in the old trap of "you hang up first - no you hang up first"  Somebody has to hang up the "phone".  BUT you have to be sensitive enough to know that the other person would like some acknowledgement that their "note" has been read.

GOOD Communication requires several things to happen, whether it is Verbal or Non Verbal.  A sender sends out a message, the message is received - the receiver then has to send a message BACK to the original sender so that they know it has been received.

So unless "the teacher takes the note up" aka it is lost in cyberspace, open the note - read it and let the other person know that you got it.  You may never fully understand the importance of the note they left you but just remember they THOUGHT it was important enough to leave for you.

The Heart and the Fist

Now you are probably wondering WHY I would choose this title for a blog post about Communication...............It actually has a LOT to do with Communication!

At West Texas A&M University we have a program called Readership WT and each year we select a different book that ALL Freshman, Faculty, and Staff are required to read.  Many of the core classes incorporate the book into their curriculum and teach at least a lesson or two from the book.

This years selection is The Heart and the Fist - the Education of a Humanitarian, the Making of a Navy Seal - by Eric Greitens.

"Like many young idealists, Eric Greitens wanted to make a difference, so he traveled to the world’s trouble spots to work in refugee camps and serve the sick and the poor. Yet when innocent civilians were threatened with harm, there was nothing he could do but step in afterward and try to ease the suffering. In studying humanitarianism, he realized a fundamental truth: when an army invades, the weak need protection. So he joined the Navy SEALs and became one of the world’s elite warriors.

Greitens led his men through the unforgettable soul-testing of SEAL training and went on to deployments in Kenya, Afghanistan, and Iraq, where he faced harrowing encounters and brutal attacks. Yet even in the deadliest combat situations, the lessons of his humanitarian work bore fruit. At the heart of this powerful story lies a paradox: sometimes you have to be strong to do good, but you also have to do good to be strong. The heart and the fist together are more powerful than either one alone."

In reading this book I was both looking for the "story" AND looking for examples of Communication.  Eric Greitens did an excellent job of giving me both!  I enjoyed reading about his journey through life but I also found countless examples where Communication became a vital tool both for his survival and his growth.

Greitens gives the reader insight both through his writing of his Verbal words but also through his detailed writings of his Non Verbal observations.  I sincerely believe that I grew as a person just reading about his journey, and I thank him for the experience.

Diversity - It is Part of Life

Diversity and Communication - Why should it matter?  I refer to my favorite saying of late - "Are you breathing?  Then it matters!"

You can ignore race, religion, finance, physical characteristics, education, and upbringing............let's talk about the basic difference - Male vs Female.   Gender is the most obvious difference between us all, the rest is either birth or circumstances (and in some cases *choice).

I am from the era that saw the publication and "eye opening" of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray.  I can assure you that it caused a big stir when it came out, and it was THE talked about book for some time!  I can also tell you since it's publication many have disagreed with it's "findings" and what Mr. Gray had to say but I still believe that it does have some insights into the differences between the Male and Female Genders.   He later came out with Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: A practical communication guide that does have some good insights into communication between the sexes.

*A person's sex is determined by biology and how they represent that sex to the world is influenced by their culture.  Yes in some cases a person does decide to represent themselves as a different sex but that is a choice.  Also history has shown us that some people who are of one race or another have chosen to represent themselves as another race.

I am digressing because the main point of what I wanted to talk to you today is COMMUNICATION and Diversity.

Paramount to diversity and communication is the same as it is with ANY communication!

1.  You need to be AWARE of your communication between yourself and others!  You are communicating at ALL times.......be Active! -

Who are you communicating with?  Who is your audience?  What is your message?

DIVERSITY - Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender...............Would you talk about Sex the same way to a Kindergarten class as you would a Senior class?  Would you talk about Sex the same way to a Senior Citizens group as you would a Senior class?

2.  When your communication is VERBAL - you must consider language, backgrounds, age, and many other factors.

DIVERSITY -  Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender.  Even if you are speaking in a language that your audience is familiar with - if you are speaking in words that your audience does NOT understand, your message will either be LOST or MISINTERPRETED!

Let's consider my mechanic, he Talks about carburetors and fuel injection systems - I Talk about the thingymobopper that makes a clicky sound under the hood when I step on the gas.  We are both speaking English but we come from totally different backgrounds when it comes to Automotive experience! 

    (Okay for the record, I can change a tire, I know how to check my oil, and I can properly hook up battery cables (I carry my own set) to jump start a car!  But I still use big words like Whatchimacallit and Thingymobopper to describe many car parts!)

3.  In person or even in a phone conversation we are using Nonverbal communications - you must be able to use and interpret this communication!  A nod of the head is a sign of agreement whereas a blank stare or a "deer in the headlights" look means the person has no clue what you have just told them!

 DIVERSITY -  Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender.   In some countries it is considered an insult to look a person directly in the eyes, in others it is consider an insult to NOT look a person in the eyes............know your audience and adapt!

When I tell a mechanic about the Thingymobopper making a clicky noise and he ROLLS his eyes or starts laughing..............THAT is not a good communication response!  And I can tell you I have walked out of more than one mechanic shop when I got this reaction!

4.  EVERY good example of effective communication REQUIRES that you LISTEN AND RESPOND!  It is your choice and mission to do it thoughtfully!  i.e. Rolling of the eyes is not usually a good thing!

DIVERSITY -  Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender.

Okay, I am picking on the mechanic again............but as I stated before - Eye rolls are usually NEVER a good response and Laughter had better be in the right place/time!

5.  You have to ADAPT your messages appropriately to others, whether that message is Verbal or Non Verbal - whether it is the original message or a response!

DIVERSITY -  Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender.

Enter mechanic again - when I came to college back in 1978, I came to a new town.  One of the first thing I did was ask a couple of upperclassmen (females) where they took their cars for work - Hands down the answer was Steve's Texico and they all RAVED about how great he was!  I soon discovered that Steve NEVER rolled his eyes or laughed, he understood Thingymobopper and Whatchimacallit AND clicky noises under the hood!  He LISTENED, asked questions and POINTED to car parts!  He gave you options on repairs and before he did anything very expensive he OFFERED you his phone to call home and volunteered to talk to dads to explain what was wrong!

I cannot produce the facts but I am pretty sure he retired VERY well off!  There was ALWAYS a line at his station (90% female) and I rarely found a female on campus that did NOT take her car to him.

What did he do different than many others?  He was AWARE that he was communicating - He was effective with his VERBAL and NONVERBAL skills - He LISTENED and RESPONDED thoughtfully - He ADAPTED his messages to his audience.

A good basic article about Diversity and Communication in the workplace is available here.

Service Learning – It's for EVERYONE!

What is Service Learning and how does it relate to Communication and Learning? There are many definitions and articles devoted to this subject, but a good simple explanation comes from Service Learning
 
“It’s a teaching strategy through which students apply what they’re learning in school to identify, research and address community needs. “


At West Texas A&M University we have had a long tradition of incorporating Service Learning into the classroom. Many of the Core classes incorporate it into their lesson plans.

In Communication we use it in several ways, students are required to do a Service Learning project from which they will write a reflection paper over their time and then they will give a Persuasive Speech where they will try to persuade the class members to devote their own time to the cause.

WT along with many researchers believe that involvement in this project increases the students civic engagement not only during their college years but throughout their life.



One semester I had a student who was a member of the varsity basketball team, according to him had been playing basketball ALL his life. His choice for his Service Learning was to volunteer at the local YMCA. According to the student he went in thinking that he would be playing basketball with kids....................instead the Y staff had him sweeping, cleaning, and working with equipment. Playing with the kids filled just a little of the time! His speech and reflection paper extolled the virtues and benefits of the Y but he also reflected on the fact that in his many years on a basketball court he had never realized what ALL it took for kids to have the chance to play there. I am excited to say that he continued to volunteer at the Y long after the assignment was over.



Additional benefits for the communication student is the opportunity and experience of being around new people of a variety of ages and backgrounds. This imposes on them the opportunity to communicate with a group that they probably would not come into contact with otherwise! It also puts them in the position of ACTIVE observation of the group and the organization.

We teach that Communication is both the active phase of Verbal, Non-Verbal, and Written AND the active phase of being the recipient of others Verbal, Non-Verbal, and Written communication! Being in the role of an active participant AND observer gives them a valuable skill that will serve them throughout their lives both personally and professionally.

Students who are interested in learning more might want to check out "Learning through Serving: A student guidebook for service-learning across the disciplines" .  There are also MANY academic articles available through your local library.  WT students should check out the selection at the Cornette Library that you can read free of charge.
 If you are an instructor and you would like to learn more about putting Service Learning into your classroom instruction you might check out Change the World with Service Learning , there are MANY books out there on the subject but this is one that I have read and learned from.

Brown Bag Speech

The first assignment for the students in the  West Texas A&M University Basic Speech class (COMM 1315) is to give a Brown Bag Speech.  This is a simple speech but it is a great place to start the students with Public Speaking.

The Brown Bag speech requires that the student bring THREE things that they present to the class and tell the other students what the things represent in their life.  This is done to help ease the students into Public Speaking and to help the  students get to know each other better.  Every semester I have at least one case where students have made a connection with each because of the objects they presented.

In the first class period I give a Brown Bag Speech of my own as an example.  I never pick the same items but the ones I pick usually represent the same things.  For my "speech" this semester I choose:

1) A Book - The book represents my love of reading and learning.  I read all the time, both Fiction and Non-Fiction.  Fiction is my key to experiencing new worlds, meeting new people, and feeling the emotions of others.  Non Fiction is my way to learn new things.  I firmly believe that you should learn something NEW everyday, and I so enjoy learning!

2) A Band-aid - I am FIXER!  Sadly I do better "Fixing" something than I am at doing it right the first time!  But all in all I am a Fixer, I can organize and make things right with ease.  While being a mother has heightened my skills, it has always been a trait of mine.

3) A Recipe Card - I love my family and I love to cook so the card serves both.  Many of my recipes have been handed down  for several generations and I love cooking them for my kids.  I have a recipe for Millionaire candy that belonged to my Great Great Grandmother, that has been a Christmas tradition for our family since the 1800's.

What is another reason for the Brown Bag speech?  Well it is also a way to analyze what objects around you  communicate to others.  This is classified as Non Verbal communications but it is a Non Verbal that speaks LOUDLY to others!

Look around, what do you value?  What do those objects represent to you?  What do they say to others?

Step into a friends room, look at their objects...........Observe...........What do these things say about them?  Are their Non Verbals saying the SAME things that their Verbals are saying?  You decide, but I think more often than not - You will HEAR the same message from both.

Model of Good Communication

There are many communication models out there and they all are basically the same.  The primary reason for the models is to show a diagram of what good effect communication should be and the individual steps to be considered.

Here is one example of a Good Communication Model:

Let's start at the first step:

The Encoder - the encoder is the one that begins the communication process, for the purpose of this illustration we will use the example of Oral/Verbal Face to Face communication.  ******But please note, this same model works for Oral/Verbal, Non Verbal, and Written communication.

The Encoder begins by sending out a message to a Decoder (the person the Encoder wants to receive the message). 

The Decoder then receives the message and must Interpret the message.  Interpreting may seem a silly thing to require but it is an absolute - if the Decoder does NOT understand what has been said, then although the message has been received it is USELESS and NOT effective communication!

Once Interpreted, the Decoder/Receiver must then Encode a response to the message.  This may be a Verbal or Non Verbal response, i.e. an oral response or a nod of the head.  The original Encoder then must Interpret the message/response by Decoding it.

If the message is Encoded properly, received by the Decoder - Interpreted properly, a response is Encoded and sent BACK to the original Encoder - Decoded and Interpreted properly THEN and only THEN do we have Good Communication!

What can go wrong?  How many fish are in the sea? Yes about that many things can go wrong!

The Encoder must use a language and words that the Decoder can understand.  Sounds simple, but think - have you ever had a visit to the doctor and sat there wondering just what it was he was telling you?  They have a habit of using what I call "$69 words"!  most of which I could not pronounce myself much less spell!

A part of the diagram that we did not discuss earlier is the Interface - this simply is the Channel used for the message (we are using Face to Face for this example) but it should also include Noise!  In a Face to Face we must consider distance between communicators, sounds in the room (this includes others talking), and volume of speech.  Everyone of us has had someone say something to us that we did not understand because of the Volume of voice that they used.

The Decoder has to send back a message to signal that they have understood the message.  Interface/Noise is again a consideration.  If the Decoder "nods" a response and the Encoder cannot see their head/face they are not going to know that the message has been received!  If their response is Verbal but not heard - again it is not going to be received.

This may seem like a lot of things to remember about Good Communications but really it takes only a few minutes to memorize the steps and a little conscious effort to think through them while communicating with others.  In no time you will be "doing the steps" without having to think them through and you will be amazed at how your communications skills have improved!

Are You Breathing?

Sounds like a silly question doesn't it?  But it is a valid one and it makes my point..........IF you are breathing, then you are communicating!

That's right, we are all communicating everyday whether we are meaning to or not!  there are three categories/types of communication - Verbal, Non Verbal, and Written

Verbal:  This type includes sound, words, speaking, and language.  A good short explanation of Verbal Communication and components are located here -  Verbal .

Non Verbal:  This type includes facial expressions, hand and body movements, and LACK of response.  A brief explanation of Non Verbal Communication and its components are located here - Non Verbal .

Written:  This type includes the written word and include grammer, organization, structure.  A brief explanation of Written Communication and its components are located here - Written