You can ignore race, religion, finance, physical characteristics, education, and upbringing............let's talk about the basic difference - Male vs Female. Gender is the most obvious difference between us all, the rest is either birth or circumstances (and in some cases *choice).
I am from the era that saw the publication and "eye opening" of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. I can assure you that it caused a big stir when it came out, and it was THE talked about book for some time! I can also tell you since it's publication many have disagreed with it's "findings" and what Mr. Gray had to say but I still believe that it does have some insights into the differences between the Male and Female Genders. He later came out with Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: A practical communication guide that does have some good insights into communication between the sexes.
*A person's sex is determined by biology and how they represent that sex to the world is influenced by their culture. Yes in some cases a person does decide to represent themselves as a different sex but that is a choice. Also history has shown us that some people who are of one race or another have chosen to represent themselves as another race.
I am digressing because the main point of what I wanted to talk to you today is COMMUNICATION and Diversity.
Paramount to diversity and communication is the same as it is with ANY communication!
1. You need to be AWARE of your communication between yourself and others! You are communicating at ALL times.......be Active! -
Who are you communicating with? Who is your audience? What is your message?
DIVERSITY - Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender...............Would you talk about Sex the same way to a Kindergarten class as you would a Senior class? Would you talk about Sex the same way to a Senior Citizens group as you would a Senior class?
2. When your communication is VERBAL - you must consider language, backgrounds, age, and many other factors.
DIVERSITY - Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender. Even if you are speaking in a language that your audience is familiar with - if you are speaking in words that your audience does NOT understand, your message will either be LOST or MISINTERPRETED!
Let's consider my mechanic, he Talks about carburetors and fuel injection systems - I Talk about the thingymobopper that makes a clicky sound under the hood when I step on the gas. We are both speaking English but we come from totally different backgrounds when it comes to Automotive experience!
(Okay for the record, I can change a tire, I know how to check my oil, and I can properly hook up battery cables (I carry my own set) to jump start a car! But I still use big words like Whatchimacallit and Thingymobopper to describe many car parts!)
3. In person or even in a phone conversation we are using Nonverbal communications - you must be able to use and interpret this communication! A nod of the head is a sign of agreement whereas a blank stare or a "deer in the headlights" look means the person has no clue what you have just told them!
DIVERSITY - Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender. In some countries it is considered an insult to look a person directly in the eyes, in others it is consider an insult to NOT look a person in the eyes............know your audience and adapt!
When I tell a mechanic about the Thingymobopper making a clicky noise and he ROLLS his eyes or starts laughing..............THAT is not a good communication response! And I can tell you I have walked out of more than one mechanic shop when I got this reaction!
4. EVERY good example of effective communication REQUIRES that you LISTEN AND RESPOND! It is your choice and mission to do it thoughtfully! i.e. Rolling of the eyes is not usually a good thing!
DIVERSITY - Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender.
Okay, I am picking on the mechanic again............but as I stated before - Eye rolls are usually NEVER a good response and Laughter had better be in the right place/time!
5. You have to ADAPT your messages appropriately to others, whether that message is Verbal or Non Verbal - whether it is the original message or a response!
DIVERSITY - Consider all aspects of your "audience" - age, race, culture, background, gender.
Enter mechanic again - when I came to college back in 1978, I came to a new town. One of the first thing I did was ask a couple of upperclassmen (females) where they took their cars for work - Hands down the answer was Steve's Texico and they all RAVED about how great he was! I soon discovered that Steve NEVER rolled his eyes or laughed, he understood Thingymobopper and Whatchimacallit AND clicky noises under the hood! He LISTENED, asked questions and POINTED to car parts! He gave you options on repairs and before he did anything very expensive he OFFERED you his phone to call home and volunteered to talk to dads to explain what was wrong!
I cannot produce the facts but I am pretty sure he retired VERY well off! There was ALWAYS a line at his station (90% female) and I rarely found a female on campus that did NOT take her car to him.
What did he do different than many others? He was AWARE that he was communicating - He was effective with his VERBAL and NONVERBAL skills - He LISTENED and RESPONDED thoughtfully - He ADAPTED his messages to his audience.
A good basic article about Diversity and Communication in the workplace is available here.
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